Would we have to like, cut out the cool computery effects and make that drums instead, or what would we do?

don't do cool computery effects, that shit is so overplayed. But since I know you won't listen to me, I'll actually offer some advice. I know this works on my guitar, don't know if it'll work for keyboard. You could turn the volume down (unless you want to have just drums for an intro), set the keyboard to a drum setting, and play a beat. (you'd have to have it memorized..) and then loop that beat, so you can just play whatever else you want while that drum beat continues throughout. If you want drums like Rush or shit like that, you're kind of out of luck.

find a drummer